Not totally innocent,but not completely guilty either.

Yesterday I woke up ready to tackle the day.I even remembered the trash before the trash guys came.I had nothing but good intentions.Why or how it went so wrong I don't know.It seems every choice I made was the wrong one.I'm not saying I'm totally innocent I know I did things wrong....It's just that I didn't mean to.

Tuesday is the night that a few of us get together and chat.I don't always get to go,but when I do it's a lot of fun.I cleaned all day and made an easy dinner so that I could make chat no problem.Later in the evening Shannon ask to see my journal and my pack of smokes.Nothing about what he saw made him happy.He shot me a look,but said nothing.A little later I mentioned it was chat night.He said "you didn't log all your cigarettes you don't get to chat." I was like wha??? You didn't tell me that?? I was a tad upset and decided to text with a friend for awhile(like 2 hours yikes!)

Next thing I know Shannon says "Do you think you can put your phone down long enough to take a bath?" I said yes I can put my phone down long enough to take bath and I giggled...Ok so I was clueless to the big flashing neon sign that said he was pissed.We get to the bath and he ask if there is a reason I'd been ignoring him for the last two hours.I told him I hadn't been ignoring him,or at least I didn't mean to if I had.He didn't agree, he said I was pissed that I couldn't chat so I ignored him and I would have to give up my phone for the night and think about why I ignored him.Well.....yes I was pissed and yes I could see why he saw it the way he did.Did I ignore him on purpose? No.I made sure to talk to him as the evening went on and we got things ready for bed.

I knew I'd be spanked for not journaling and missing the goal.He was holding the wooden spoon and said "I told you to journal your cigarettes and you can't seem to do that.I spanked you for it last night and I'm not telling you anymore.If you don't journal you get spanked it's that simple." He wasn't messing around and he let me have it! I thought for sure it was for not journaling AND for missing the goal.When he was done he told me to wait right there and he left.When he came back he had the huge paddle.(the flea market find,the decorated one the one we drilled holes in ugh!)I spent a few minutes backed up to the wall refusing to get in position and earning extra as he counted.Yeah not exactly my smartest move I know,but I did eventually get my wits about me and take the spanking.When it was over I slid down on the floor pretty sure I had taken the last swat that I could take.He left again,I figured he was giving me some space to collect myself like he often does.Ummmm no! I hear the jingle of his belt buckle and he tells me to stand up and bend back over.He says "If you are upset with me or I've done something you need to talk to me.Your not going to ignore me because your mad I won't put up with it."


I was a snowball and he was the tree at the bottom of the hill......Today will be better right?

Communication block

Authors get writers block.... I'm having a communication block.I have started so many post in the last month or so and then just never felt confident enough to hit the button that puts it out there.Same thing with normal everyday conversation I just don't know what to say at all these days unless it's about normal day to day stuff.My communication with Shannon has been the same. I can't communicate the things I need or want to.I have no clue why I'm having this problem,but it's rather annoying.So bare with me and if you have any suggestions that would be great.

We had another wonderful weekend.I'm a huge music fan..like huge huge lol! Mostly country music, old and new.So Shannon got tickets to a concert for our date night.I was totally excited!Friday evening he came home with beautiful flowers. We got dressed and headed out for the concert.It was amazing and we had the best time.Saturday we took our three kids and six others to the haunted corn maze.I'm not really into scary stuff,but I had my sexy guy to protect me and the kids just loved it.Sunday we sent all extra kids home and enjoyed watching some football.

Later that night as I was heading to bed Shannon asked me to pick an implement.I was getting a choice so I figured it was going to be a GG.I picked the crop,it's the only thing that can be gentle in my opinion.It turns out I had to trade it in for something less noisy.I picked the OTK cane and made him promise to be gentle, which he was.It was a really nice way to end such a wonderful weekend.I really love these kinda weekends they don't happen nearly as often as I like.

I don't feel like discussing smoking today so no update.

I hope ya'll have a wonderful day!!

Love Our Lurkers Day

This is my first time to participate in the "Love our Lurkers" that Bonnie started five years ago.

It's a day for us to say 'thank you' to all our readers.I was a lurker for several years,I wasn't sure about commenting.I finally did it and have met so many wonderful people. You don't have to be bashful lurkers, I would love to hear from you! You can share whatever you like or a simple hello is just fine :)

A great weekend!

We had a wonderful weekend.Shannon's been working like crazy and we were really needing some time together.He got an unexpected weekend off,no jobs called out.The kids all had friends over,we watched scary movies and put up halloween decoration.My son did most the work on the roof while the rest of us did the ones on the ground.Several people drove by to look and would tell us how nice it looked or give us the thumbs up.

Later that evening the kids set off the fog machines(neither my lungs,nor my asthma appreciated that)and the strobe lights and we all played sardines.Thankfully Shannon was home or I wouldn't have been able to sleep a wink.

Sunday we all camped out in front of the t.v. to watch football.My Boys lost,but it was still tons of fun to have a football day!

The kids only go to school two days this week then they are off for fall break.I'm so excited about having them home for awhile!I'm sure they will have friends over and will be going over to their friends,but it should be a nice break for all of us.

Smoking update:I'm doing really good down to eight and I think seven tomorrow.Slowly but surely it's getting easier.I notive myself lighting up taking a few puffs and putting it down.That's really good,eventually it won't be worth my time anymore.Thank ya'll for all the encouragement!

Have a great day everyone!

"Read my lips:NO MORE WOOD"

Shannon and I went to a flea market a few weeks ago and he found a big wood paddle.We walked through the flea market holding hands while he carried that darn thing.I noticed people didn't give him weird looks,it was me then were looking at!I was so happy when I finally talked him into taking it to the car.

We picked Katia up from the airport Thursday morning and almost immediatly after getting home Shannon decided to test all his weapons out on us.Shannon had told me a few days before she was due to arrive that all spankings would be playful.We don't do many playful spankings and he thought with the two of us to laugh and cut up with one another I might enjoy it a tad more.The first spanking was fun! On Friday we were in there darn near on the hour,still it was fun.That darn paddle made an appearance in every spanking....Have I ever mentioned I'm not a fan of wood? We all walked to the corner cafe for some lunch...that's when the soreness set in!!

Katia,who has buns of steel or something thought she'd help me out.She told me to just keep repeating to myself..."It doesn't hurt." My brain didn't by into that though.Then she tells me to just keep talking to her as if we were having a normal conversation.Ummm yeah! I managed to get like three words out.lol

Shannon thought it would be a good idea to give us ten swats each,but have us work as a team to take them.In other words if he had to start over because one of us got out of position or put our hands back we would both start over.Poor Katia,I'm not the person you want on your team in this case.She was the cause of us started over a couple times though.After several hours and several spankings Shannon decided on one last spanking of the evening.I think it was the second swat with the wood paddle and I was done I said "Read my lips:NO MORE WOOD!" Thankfully he was nice enough to change to leather.

Saturday we went to a pumkin festival and another flea market.We had fun just hanging out all day.Shannon did find a really unique implement at the flea market.I'll try an post a pic of it and the paddle when I get a chance.Katia got me the prettiest small crystal picture to hold my milk for coffee.I have been been hunting the pefect thing for awhile now,it's perfect!!

We couldn't let the weekend slip by without one last prank on my guy.So....we drilled holes in his paddle.We were very careful,we didn't want to mess it up.He wasn't so pleased with us at first,but once he realized we didn't go crazy with it and we were careful he settled down.He did give us a spanking with it later that night and it turns out he liked the holes lol!

It was a fun weekend and I miss her already!!

As far as smoking goes,I've done pretty good.I'm down to 9 smokes and the journaling and logging the cigs really has helped me.Katia,gave me a pretty little notebook to log in with inspirational quotes at the top of each page,she cut each one out herself just for me.Thank you,Katia!

Have a great day everyone!

A visit from a friend

Katia is coming for a visit,I'm so excited!!! I've missed her so much.We always have loads of fun together just hanging out and talking.We always manage to play some kind of joke on Shannon cause it's just to good to pass up lol!

I'm doing better with the smoking goals after having a really tough time meeting them.Shannon came to me a few days ago paddle in hand and said "I'm done with you not meeting your goals".I wasn't feeling so hot that day and it wasn't a fun spanking at all. I remember waking up still over his knee and him asking me to take a nap with him.When we woke up he told me he wanted me to start journaling every time I light up.That hasn't been an easy task but it does seem to be heping.So far I've made every goal!

Have a great day everyone!