Attitude!! Attitude!! Attitude!!

We've been doing the daily's.We had a great evening out together.It was late.I just didn't want a spanking.

Shannon announced it was time and ask me to get the spoon.I was like what? Seriously?He said yeah seriousy it's a daily,why not? Well it's late for one.I threw the covers back and got the spoon.It's on my side of the bed in the nightstand so I grabbed it and sorta tossed it in his direction and then walked over to him.He told me to drop my pants and get in position.I told him I didn't think the door was locked.Well then you better go lock it.

He started the spanking and said this is your daily when I'm done you can have a spanking for your attitude.What attitude!? The one you have right now and the one you had when you jerked backed the covers,threw the spoon,and stomped to the door.I didn't stomp anywhere and I gave you the spoon the same way I always do.He informed me that I did stomp and that when he ask for an implement he wants it handed to him not thrown.

He finished the daily and moved on to the attitude spanking.I'd like to say at that point I was on my best behavior but no! He was asking questions then spanking, asking question ,spanking and everytime the spanking got harder and harder.That's when I stood up arms crossed and said if your just gonna keep spanking me everytime you ask a questions I'm not answering them anymore! It was pretty much down hill from there.

When it was over neither of us were very happy with the other.He promised another spanking for the continued attitude and we went to sleep.I felt really bad that I had acted that way when I woke up the next morning.I did text him and apologize.I'm really not sure what got into me.

Things are settled now and the attitude is gone for sure.

Update

I finally have everyone in the house well at this moment.Woohoo! Shannon is healing nicely and feeling much better these days.He may even go back to full duty sometime soon.It's been nice to have him home on a more normal basis though....we've actually had dinner together which is so important.I know he's ready to get back in the field though and I can't blame him.

I told ya'll I'd let you know about the six week excersise if we chose to do it.It's basically six weeks of daily spankings.It's mostly for connection and to open the lines of communication.So far it's done both for us which has been really nice.We will do the six weeks at the least if more than that is needed then we will continue.The only down side is it can be more than one spanking a day and if I earn a spanking I get that plus the daily.We also set time aside for us to do things together just the two of us.

I had forgot for some time how spanking is related to my openess to him.We haven't communicated this much in quite some time and it feels good.It has also givin us the chance to see the things we need to work on.I need to work on disrespect..... I need to work on what I say and how I say it.He has things he's working on too.All in all I'd say it's been a good thing.Lets just hope we still feel good about it at week six!

Have a great day everyone!

Tons going on

I wasn't expecting it to be so long before I posted.

We had houseguest for about five days.Then Shannon fell at work,he was on a thirty something foot cable when some equipment failed.He fell almost thirty feet,stopping a couple feet before he hit the ground.He's been healing from that and we are thankful it wasn't as bad as it could have been.

Now we are passing the flu around the house.I think today is the first day I've come up for air!

Not much spanking going on here so I thought I'd take this oppertunity to mention Tampa tanners.It's a group started by Thomas,Cookie and my good friend Katia.It's a good way to meet like minded people.They are working on getting some pics.They will also have spanking parties in the Tampa area. Check it out!

Have a good day everyone!

A turning point maybe?

Funny and light-hearted are always so easy,but life isn't always that way.

I'm going to share something here that I haven't before.I'm sharing it because 1)I feel like we might be at a turning point and I feel good about it.2)I would appreciate ya'll in our corner;)You've all been so good to me.3) there will probably be bad days and instead of hiding I'd like to be able to be honest.4)There isn't as much help for this sorta thing as you may think

The short version is....I found out a few years ago that my guy had a gambling problem.I was shocked although I'm not sure why, the signs were all there.I thought ok I can deal with this we've dealt with other things.It didn't really work out that way.We are still sitting here three years later trying to figure this all out.There have been many ups and downs,goods and bads.Now I just want our life back!


At first we set DD aside,then brought it back,we let it go again and so on....

The past few months we haven't really communicated or been connected. I didn't want DD anymore. My heart just wasn't in it.I felt it was more hurtful than helpful.Shannon felt we needed it.When he attempted it I made it really difficult.I'm not proud of that.He also has struggled with guilt and not feeling worthy of being HOH.My being difficult just made it that much harder for him.At times he felt it wasn't worth the fight with me.Things were getting ugly. We both stopped trying and avoided each other.Other than a few occasions when things felt somewhat normal.

Recently we had a heart to heart....One of those lay it out on the table even if it's hard kinda talks.It wasn't fun but it was needed.During our talk we were able to share a lot of things that have never been mentioned. I realized some things about myself that I'm not happy with.One thing we both agreed is our family and marriage are to important to let go of.One thing I was shocked by is how most of our issues are not the gambling itself but all the little 'side effects' of the gambling.That may not makes sense to everyone.

One day at a time and one foot in front of the other....we will get there though.

One of the things I realized about myself is that I'm angry and I'm bitter and it's not helpful in moving forward.It's easy to sit back and feel like he should fix it because he messed it up.It doesn't work that way we both have to do the work and neither of us have been doing our part.

The trust and respect are damaged,not gone just damaged.I know most agree that trust and respect are very important to DD and I agree.I also think sometimes things are not normal and you have to reach outside the box for answers.With that said we agreed that DD will be here because honestly it just has to be.DD is a big part of our lives and it's helped us keep our heads above water many times.Without it our communication and connection go away and now is not the time for that.

The good part is everything is out in the open for us now and we can fix what needs fixin.How to fix it is the hard part.We know we need to talk and keep talking even when it hurts sometimes and I think finally we are both ready to do that.We've spent alot of time dancing around some of the real issues.

There has been some talk on a forum we are apart of about a six week excersise.We are doing a trial run of that so we can tweak what needs tweaking and see if it might be beneficial for us.It's mostly a connection thing for us.I'll give more info about it if we decide that it might be for us.

I want to end by saying Shannon's made a lot of progress with the gambling and I'm very proud of him.