The embarrasment never goes away

It amazes me that no matter how long we do this a certain degree of embarrasment is always there.It's just a matter of to what degree and for me that changes.Last night we had a reconnection of sorts.I was beyond embarrassed afterwards.We were at the point when it was over and we were just talking.I was quiet and I think he was feeling that something was wrong and maybe he should continue.I was telling myself to just say something so he'd know that continuing wasn't necessary.It wasn't long before he caught on and asked "Are you embarrassed?" He acted kinda shocked lol! Then he told me not to be and that this is what we do and there is nothing to be embarrassed about.I felt better,but somehow I don't think it will stop me from being embarrassed in the future.Oh well it comes with the territory,I guess.

As far as the smoking...I've been doing better and making some changes on my own.I really like KayLynn's advice and decided to do that.Right now I'm just going to be writing down the times I resist and then I'll gradually change that.I also decided to have a certain spot that I smoke in.That doesn't seem like much but it does help.As of right now Shannon is just asking that I write down everytime I open a pack.The first time was horrible but it has slowly got better.I'm also taking Sugaranne's advice of enjoying the small goals.So baby steps,but I'm feeling good about it.

Have a great day everyone!

My apologies

I'm sorry to anyone who visited and could get on the blog.I had the settings right but didn't reboot.So now it's out there...I know nothing about computers:)Thanks to Katia for helping me fix the problem!

Misty

It's time!!!

Shannon left for work yesterday morning and got home around 11p.m.He had to be back up at 3a.m.You would think the only thing on his mind would be sleep.Instead after he crawled in bed he ask "Do you know what today is?" I was like no what is it? He tells me that it's June 1st and that my time was up and now it's his.He said nothing else about it after that.

A month or so ago he gave me time to work on my smoking on my own with the agreement that June 1st he'd step in.To be honest I haven't made any progress on my own.Of course it would be a crazy stressful month which didn't help matters.He called this morning to tell me to keep track of how many I'm smoking.I'm thinking this isn't going to be good.I'm sure sometime soon he will fill me in and make some small goals(hopefully they are small!)I plan to post the goals and whether or not I meet them.

In other news I decided to share my blog rather than keep it private.It's scary but I thought why not? Mostly I know there has to be a few people out there who have used DD where smoking or something like it is concerned.I would love any advice I could get.Also maybe down the road my journey with DD and smoking could help someone else.

Have a great day everyone!!

summer fun!

Summer has definantly kicked off here.The weather has been nice and warm!! The pool is up and we have been enjoying that.It's alot of work though.We've done some outdoor grilling.We've been fishing.The kids love that! J caught a few huge frogs,they are so cute!!We just play with them and put em' back.Shannon's caught some bass and a catfish.

Shannon's job is starting to pick up which is nice they aren't talking about closing the doors anymore.In fact they are about to hire a few guys so maybe just maybe they will get a day off once in awhile.I'm thinking the next few weeks while they are getting people trained I'll never see Shannon.

My nephew is coming to stay a couple weeks with us.His sister's have summer camps and he's feeling a tad left out because he has nothing 'fun' to do lol!J is excited him and my nephew are buds.The girl's have been keeping us busy with sleepover's.It seems like every other night we have all night guest.

I don't think I ever gave an update on K and cheer.She made the squad and we are so happy for her.They should start kicking things off in July.I can't wait!!! Ok maybe I can lol!

Have a good day everyone!