I plead insanity!

This is something I posted elsewhere over a month or so ago.I promised I'd post it here.We're heading out of town later today for the weekend and I don't feel like posting about smoking so....

My son's room is horrible! I'm pretty sure it's a fire hazard.So Shannon tells me he doesn't want our son going anywhere until his room is clean.I heard him say it and I totally agreed with him.

The next day he comes home from work early and it's just me home so no witnesses.He announces that he's gonna give a spanking,one of those 'good' you forgot how things work around here kinda spankings.There may have been a tiny bit of truth to what he was saying so I tell myself that I've earned the spanking and I'm gonna take it like a champ(Whatever that really means)so I do!

Less than an hour later my son comes to me and asked if he can go to the park to play basketball.I quickly think about his room and then say(this is where I went insane!)Ok but as soon as school is out this week you and I are gonna tackle your room together,were throwing stuff out got it? He says he's got it and leaves.I come out of the kitchen and Shannon ask where J went.I was thinking Oh crap!!! I explain to him my awesome plan of action.He immediatly ask where the other two kids are.Now I'm thinking double Oh Crap!! I'm alone with no witnesses again!!!

I explain where the girls are almost wanting to add that they could be home any moment?(a lie would have been a bad idea though)He says good follow me.He makes the long walk to our room.He ask me again to explain where our son is and why he isn't cleaning his room.I explain,well the best I could being insane and all.He says so what I say doesn't matter?I say of course it does and try to hurry and think how the heck I'm supose to prove that at that very moment.He asked what did I just spank you for earlier as he reaches for his belt.Now I'm just desperate and I tell him that he really doesn't have to use THAT and that I really did hear what he said earlier it's just I messed up.He wasn't really interested in that at the moment.He puts me over his knee and checks out his earlier handiwork.Then he is kind enough to say"Wow your pretty marked up this is really gonna hurt!!"

And he was right!

Misty(not the sharpest tool in the shed)

Have agreat weekend everyone!!!

The weekend

I'm finding it hard to write about the weekend.I'm not sure if it's because it was so personal? Emotional? Or what? Sometimes it's easier to say 'I got spanked' than it is to discuss the emotions that surounded it.This is one of those times.

There were several spankings over the weekend.Each one was about an area that needed attention like submission,attitude,acceptance,pouting,communication,and who's in charge.He made sure to take a moment before each spanking to tell me I wasn't being punished.I appreciated that.The spankings were hard but knowing they weren't pinishments really helped.As part of the lesson I still have two spankings that I have to ASK for before the end of the month.The good part is these can be 'nice' spankings *smile*

We also had some much needed conversations,shared some awesome meals together,went to a rodeo and did some thong shopping.I may post about that at another time. *wink* We enjoyed each other in general.

The only puinishment I got over the weekend was for the missed smoking goal ummmm...OUCH!!!I have made all my goals since that spanking!We started out just taking one cigarette out and now I'm taking eight out!It's getting much harder,but I'm feeling really good about the progress we're making with the smoking.

Have a good day everyone!

We finally had a chance to discuss the reminder that went bad....

I pouted about it for days before we had the chance to communicate for more than five minutes.While I was busy pouting and being less than submissive, he was fuming about the way I handled things.Turns out the reminder was meant to be more on the playful side and I'm actually the one that turned it ugly by fighting it.I can't say we see eye-to-eye on the entire situation.We've pretty much agreed to disagree.The bottom line is he decides when,where and how to spank and while I can always give my opinion.I don't get to fight the spankings he decides to give and then pout about it for days.

All of our children are out of town right now and he has decided that this is the perfect oppertunity to have a 'weekend long lesson on submission'(I'm sure my attitude over the last few days has nothing at all to do with it)I really don't know what all this entails other than I may not be sitting come Monday.He started last night with a spanking before bed.I'm not sure why I thought fighting a spanking and then acting like a total brat about it was a good idea.

As far as the smoking, I have met every goal so far....until today that is! Not a good time to miss a goal! ugh!He doesn't know yet because he's sleeping.Maybe I should quietly sneak out of the house and return when all my little witnesses come back.lol! I hate that I missed the goal,but I do feel pretty good that I was able to make so many before crashing and burning! I will repeat the goal and hopefully meet it this time!

Have a wonderful weekend everyone!!

A tad confused

I must have misunderstood about the reminders.I was under the impression he would give a reminder if I was struggling to meet my goal and if I met the goal there would be the occasional gg.

Turns out I was wrong!Last night we get ready for bed and he ask if I've met my goal.I tell him that I did.I actually blew past the goal.A little bit later he pulls out the cane.All of us have our dreaded implement and just so happens the cane is mine.He announces he's going to give a reminder.WTH???

I won't go into all the annoying details,but I didn't handle it well at all!I mean the first goal I met I get a gg.The second one I get the cane! In all fairness he was only going to give me 10 strokes with the cane(he doesn't realize 10 with the cane is a lot!) and he only used it because we had kids in the house.I'm not sure I understand the point in a reminder if I'm doing well.

All this to say I'm feeling a tad wounded and confused by his decision.

The goal today:take 4 cigarette's out.I can do it!!

Have a great day everyone!!

I met my first goal!!!

My first goal was to take two cigarettes out of the pack I opened and still have it last at least 24 hours.I can't say I blew past the goal,but I did make it!

Last night we had the house to ourselves,that doesn't happen often.Our two youngest are staying a couple weeks with my sister and our oldest stayed the night with a friend.We had a lovely dinner alone, great conversation,a 'good girl' spanking(I'll get to that soon) and some pretty amazing other stuff.

During our conversation and dinner he informed me that he wanted to do reminders to help me with the smoking.He also said that sometimes the reminders would be in the form of a gg.Ok so for those of you who don't know,we have tried gg's a few times with only about a 5 percent success rate.Spankings are spankings and they hurt,so I struggled to find them yummy in any way, shape, form or fashion.lol! However,this is something we would like to get more familiar with.He tells me to go through his arsenal and pick out implements I thought could be 'nice'. I picked two crops,they've always seemed somewhat sexy to me.Turns out I was right,they are sexy!He picked a few too at some point,but I have no idea what they were.All I can say is the gg was 100% successful...WOW! This could be HUGE for us!!!

My next goal is to take 3 cigarettes out of my pack and it still last 24 hours.I'm feeling pretty confident I can make the goal. :)

Have a great day everyone!

The embarrasment never goes away

It amazes me that no matter how long we do this a certain degree of embarrasment is always there.It's just a matter of to what degree and for me that changes.Last night we had a reconnection of sorts.I was beyond embarrassed afterwards.We were at the point when it was over and we were just talking.I was quiet and I think he was feeling that something was wrong and maybe he should continue.I was telling myself to just say something so he'd know that continuing wasn't necessary.It wasn't long before he caught on and asked "Are you embarrassed?" He acted kinda shocked lol! Then he told me not to be and that this is what we do and there is nothing to be embarrassed about.I felt better,but somehow I don't think it will stop me from being embarrassed in the future.Oh well it comes with the territory,I guess.

As far as the smoking...I've been doing better and making some changes on my own.I really like KayLynn's advice and decided to do that.Right now I'm just going to be writing down the times I resist and then I'll gradually change that.I also decided to have a certain spot that I smoke in.That doesn't seem like much but it does help.As of right now Shannon is just asking that I write down everytime I open a pack.The first time was horrible but it has slowly got better.I'm also taking Sugaranne's advice of enjoying the small goals.So baby steps,but I'm feeling good about it.

Have a great day everyone!

My apologies

I'm sorry to anyone who visited and could get on the blog.I had the settings right but didn't reboot.So now it's out there...I know nothing about computers:)Thanks to Katia for helping me fix the problem!

Misty

It's time!!!

Shannon left for work yesterday morning and got home around 11p.m.He had to be back up at 3a.m.You would think the only thing on his mind would be sleep.Instead after he crawled in bed he ask "Do you know what today is?" I was like no what is it? He tells me that it's June 1st and that my time was up and now it's his.He said nothing else about it after that.

A month or so ago he gave me time to work on my smoking on my own with the agreement that June 1st he'd step in.To be honest I haven't made any progress on my own.Of course it would be a crazy stressful month which didn't help matters.He called this morning to tell me to keep track of how many I'm smoking.I'm thinking this isn't going to be good.I'm sure sometime soon he will fill me in and make some small goals(hopefully they are small!)I plan to post the goals and whether or not I meet them.

In other news I decided to share my blog rather than keep it private.It's scary but I thought why not? Mostly I know there has to be a few people out there who have used DD where smoking or something like it is concerned.I would love any advice I could get.Also maybe down the road my journey with DD and smoking could help someone else.

Have a great day everyone!!

summer fun!

Summer has definantly kicked off here.The weather has been nice and warm!! The pool is up and we have been enjoying that.It's alot of work though.We've done some outdoor grilling.We've been fishing.The kids love that! J caught a few huge frogs,they are so cute!!We just play with them and put em' back.Shannon's caught some bass and a catfish.

Shannon's job is starting to pick up which is nice they aren't talking about closing the doors anymore.In fact they are about to hire a few guys so maybe just maybe they will get a day off once in awhile.I'm thinking the next few weeks while they are getting people trained I'll never see Shannon.

My nephew is coming to stay a couple weeks with us.His sister's have summer camps and he's feeling a tad left out because he has nothing 'fun' to do lol!J is excited him and my nephew are buds.The girl's have been keeping us busy with sleepover's.It seems like every other night we have all night guest.

I don't think I ever gave an update on K and cheer.She made the squad and we are so happy for her.They should start kicking things off in July.I can't wait!!! Ok maybe I can lol!

Have a good day everyone!