Does it work for you?

I'd like to say I never pout,but that wouldn't be the truth.I don't do it often.Sometimes it works and mostly it doesn't.;)

Do you do it?

Does it really work?


Have a great day everyone!!!

Just for fun!

I have been busy lately,but I don't want to neglect my blog any longer.I found some cute finds recently while we were out of town.My goal is to post the pictures of those finds with just a short question or comment to go along with it.

So here goes....

What get's you on the naughty list the quickest or most often? Anyone want to share?

For me it would have to be attitude.I get my feelings hurt or something and snap without thinking it through.It's the one thing Shannon say's he will still be spanking me for at 80 LOL! I have got tons better at it over the years though,so maybe there is still hope.

Have a great day everyone!!!

Sometimes you just don't wanna.

There was a coversation elsewhere recently about how hard it can be once DD becomes apart of a relationship.It wasn't exacty that, but close.Either way I could relate to it,as I think a lot of us can.So I thought I'd ramble.

As helpful as DD can be,sometimes you just don't wanna.I remember in our earlier years of marriage spankings only happened about 4 times a year.Neither one of us was sure spanking was normal or healthy for a marriage so Shannon reserved it for pretty major things.Once we got a look at the internet and found out that it was more normal than we thought things changed.Spankings happened more frequently and I got spanked for things that I didn't before.Another big change for us was submission.In our early years even though Shannon was the HOH and spanked,submissive I was not!Actually I'm still not,but it can be our little secret.;)

When things first started to change it wasn't so bad.It was new and instantly there were some pretty amazing changes going on.There was an openess,we communicated better.The better communication brought about closeness and that did amazing things for our sex life.I guess those changes made it seem not so bad.

At some point things settle down and DD is there....ALL THE TIME!!It's not new anymore either and it's just really hard.Spankings happen in times and moments when you just don't feel like it.You also realize that when they say they are going to spank if you do x,they really mean every single time you do it!Who would have thunk it?

The good thing about this very difficult,overwhelming time for me was major growth happened and I ended up in a pretty good place.Unless of course we are working on something like ummm lets just say,smoking. Then overwhelming feelings come back and you feel like destroying every implement he owns,but you know it will pass;)

Have a good day everyone!

Wanted to share

I still can't seem to write anything.So until then I thought I'd share the song below.It's one of my favs and it really speaks to me these days.

Have a great day everyone!

Cristy Lane - He Sees My Heart

Not totally innocent,but not completely guilty either.

Yesterday I woke up ready to tackle the day.I even remembered the trash before the trash guys came.I had nothing but good intentions.Why or how it went so wrong I don't know.It seems every choice I made was the wrong one.I'm not saying I'm totally innocent I know I did things wrong....It's just that I didn't mean to.

Tuesday is the night that a few of us get together and chat.I don't always get to go,but when I do it's a lot of fun.I cleaned all day and made an easy dinner so that I could make chat no problem.Later in the evening Shannon ask to see my journal and my pack of smokes.Nothing about what he saw made him happy.He shot me a look,but said nothing.A little later I mentioned it was chat night.He said "you didn't log all your cigarettes you don't get to chat." I was like wha??? You didn't tell me that?? I was a tad upset and decided to text with a friend for awhile(like 2 hours yikes!)

Next thing I know Shannon says "Do you think you can put your phone down long enough to take a bath?" I said yes I can put my phone down long enough to take bath and I giggled...Ok so I was clueless to the big flashing neon sign that said he was pissed.We get to the bath and he ask if there is a reason I'd been ignoring him for the last two hours.I told him I hadn't been ignoring him,or at least I didn't mean to if I had.He didn't agree, he said I was pissed that I couldn't chat so I ignored him and I would have to give up my phone for the night and think about why I ignored him.Well.....yes I was pissed and yes I could see why he saw it the way he did.Did I ignore him on purpose? No.I made sure to talk to him as the evening went on and we got things ready for bed.

I knew I'd be spanked for not journaling and missing the goal.He was holding the wooden spoon and said "I told you to journal your cigarettes and you can't seem to do that.I spanked you for it last night and I'm not telling you anymore.If you don't journal you get spanked it's that simple." He wasn't messing around and he let me have it! I thought for sure it was for not journaling AND for missing the goal.When he was done he told me to wait right there and he left.When he came back he had the huge paddle.(the flea market find,the decorated one the one we drilled holes in ugh!)I spent a few minutes backed up to the wall refusing to get in position and earning extra as he counted.Yeah not exactly my smartest move I know,but I did eventually get my wits about me and take the spanking.When it was over I slid down on the floor pretty sure I had taken the last swat that I could take.He left again,I figured he was giving me some space to collect myself like he often does.Ummmm no! I hear the jingle of his belt buckle and he tells me to stand up and bend back over.He says "If you are upset with me or I've done something you need to talk to me.Your not going to ignore me because your mad I won't put up with it."


I was a snowball and he was the tree at the bottom of the hill......Today will be better right?

Communication block

Authors get writers block.... I'm having a communication block.I have started so many post in the last month or so and then just never felt confident enough to hit the button that puts it out there.Same thing with normal everyday conversation I just don't know what to say at all these days unless it's about normal day to day stuff.My communication with Shannon has been the same. I can't communicate the things I need or want to.I have no clue why I'm having this problem,but it's rather annoying.So bare with me and if you have any suggestions that would be great.

We had another wonderful weekend.I'm a huge music fan..like huge huge lol! Mostly country music, old and new.So Shannon got tickets to a concert for our date night.I was totally excited!Friday evening he came home with beautiful flowers. We got dressed and headed out for the concert.It was amazing and we had the best time.Saturday we took our three kids and six others to the haunted corn maze.I'm not really into scary stuff,but I had my sexy guy to protect me and the kids just loved it.Sunday we sent all extra kids home and enjoyed watching some football.

Later that night as I was heading to bed Shannon asked me to pick an implement.I was getting a choice so I figured it was going to be a GG.I picked the crop,it's the only thing that can be gentle in my opinion.It turns out I had to trade it in for something less noisy.I picked the OTK cane and made him promise to be gentle, which he was.It was a really nice way to end such a wonderful weekend.I really love these kinda weekends they don't happen nearly as often as I like.

I don't feel like discussing smoking today so no update.

I hope ya'll have a wonderful day!!

Love Our Lurkers Day

This is my first time to participate in the "Love our Lurkers" that Bonnie started five years ago.

It's a day for us to say 'thank you' to all our readers.I was a lurker for several years,I wasn't sure about commenting.I finally did it and have met so many wonderful people. You don't have to be bashful lurkers, I would love to hear from you! You can share whatever you like or a simple hello is just fine :)

A great weekend!

We had a wonderful weekend.Shannon's been working like crazy and we were really needing some time together.He got an unexpected weekend off,no jobs called out.The kids all had friends over,we watched scary movies and put up halloween decoration.My son did most the work on the roof while the rest of us did the ones on the ground.Several people drove by to look and would tell us how nice it looked or give us the thumbs up.

Later that evening the kids set off the fog machines(neither my lungs,nor my asthma appreciated that)and the strobe lights and we all played sardines.Thankfully Shannon was home or I wouldn't have been able to sleep a wink.

Sunday we all camped out in front of the t.v. to watch football.My Boys lost,but it was still tons of fun to have a football day!

The kids only go to school two days this week then they are off for fall break.I'm so excited about having them home for awhile!I'm sure they will have friends over and will be going over to their friends,but it should be a nice break for all of us.

Smoking update:I'm doing really good down to eight and I think seven tomorrow.Slowly but surely it's getting easier.I notive myself lighting up taking a few puffs and putting it down.That's really good,eventually it won't be worth my time anymore.Thank ya'll for all the encouragement!

Have a great day everyone!

"Read my lips:NO MORE WOOD"

Shannon and I went to a flea market a few weeks ago and he found a big wood paddle.We walked through the flea market holding hands while he carried that darn thing.I noticed people didn't give him weird looks,it was me then were looking at!I was so happy when I finally talked him into taking it to the car.

We picked Katia up from the airport Thursday morning and almost immediatly after getting home Shannon decided to test all his weapons out on us.Shannon had told me a few days before she was due to arrive that all spankings would be playful.We don't do many playful spankings and he thought with the two of us to laugh and cut up with one another I might enjoy it a tad more.The first spanking was fun! On Friday we were in there darn near on the hour,still it was fun.That darn paddle made an appearance in every spanking....Have I ever mentioned I'm not a fan of wood? We all walked to the corner cafe for some lunch...that's when the soreness set in!!

Katia,who has buns of steel or something thought she'd help me out.She told me to just keep repeating to myself..."It doesn't hurt." My brain didn't by into that though.Then she tells me to just keep talking to her as if we were having a normal conversation.Ummm yeah! I managed to get like three words out.lol

Shannon thought it would be a good idea to give us ten swats each,but have us work as a team to take them.In other words if he had to start over because one of us got out of position or put our hands back we would both start over.Poor Katia,I'm not the person you want on your team in this case.She was the cause of us started over a couple times though.After several hours and several spankings Shannon decided on one last spanking of the evening.I think it was the second swat with the wood paddle and I was done I said "Read my lips:NO MORE WOOD!" Thankfully he was nice enough to change to leather.

Saturday we went to a pumkin festival and another flea market.We had fun just hanging out all day.Shannon did find a really unique implement at the flea market.I'll try an post a pic of it and the paddle when I get a chance.Katia got me the prettiest small crystal picture to hold my milk for coffee.I have been been hunting the pefect thing for awhile now,it's perfect!!

We couldn't let the weekend slip by without one last prank on my guy.So....we drilled holes in his paddle.We were very careful,we didn't want to mess it up.He wasn't so pleased with us at first,but once he realized we didn't go crazy with it and we were careful he settled down.He did give us a spanking with it later that night and it turns out he liked the holes lol!

It was a fun weekend and I miss her already!!

As far as smoking goes,I've done pretty good.I'm down to 9 smokes and the journaling and logging the cigs really has helped me.Katia,gave me a pretty little notebook to log in with inspirational quotes at the top of each page,she cut each one out herself just for me.Thank you,Katia!

Have a great day everyone!

A visit from a friend

Katia is coming for a visit,I'm so excited!!! I've missed her so much.We always have loads of fun together just hanging out and talking.We always manage to play some kind of joke on Shannon cause it's just to good to pass up lol!

I'm doing better with the smoking goals after having a really tough time meeting them.Shannon came to me a few days ago paddle in hand and said "I'm done with you not meeting your goals".I wasn't feeling so hot that day and it wasn't a fun spanking at all. I remember waking up still over his knee and him asking me to take a nap with him.When we woke up he told me he wanted me to start journaling every time I light up.That hasn't been an easy task but it does seem to be heping.So far I've made every goal!

Have a great day everyone!

goals, goals and more goals!

I'm really struggling with the smoking goals.I made the first two,missed two,made two more.....

Today I missed it.I was very tempted to sneak some smokes,because I know Shannon won't understand.How can he? I don't understand.One day I have two left over the next day I go over by two.It only takes a bad hour in a day to mess up the whole thing at that point I feel defeated or as if I'm a step behind all day.I wish there was an easier way to do this.

Tomorrow is a new day though and I WILL meet my goal.

Have a good night everyone!

I don't like it here.

I'm going to vent for a sec. I don't know what my problem is with this move.The people here are nice.I can walk to the store and I love that!I just don't like it....it's not home.It doesn't have things that are important to us in a house.The kids don't like the new school.K has always been an A/B student and now she is struggling.I'm usually good with this stuff,I was an Army brat we moved all the time.When we moved somewhere we weren't sure of we made the best of it.I'm trying I really am,but it's hard.I think it's mostly just the house,hopefully I can change it enough to make it feel like home.We are going to all the homecoming events for the town we moved from because our oldest still goes to school there.The two younger ones will get to see their friends...I think it will be good for all of us.Ok I'm done venting. :)

I made my cigarette goal yesterday it wasn't easy though.I did get a reminder in the evening to make sure I reached the goal.I actually think that helped or maybe it was the threat of a wood paddle or switch that terrified me either way something worked.I realized later last night while chatting that I only had one smoke left. If there was going to be any 'special time' I would need to save that smoke.I left chat and went to hunt down my guy.I find him on the computer doing paperwork,he said he'd be done in awhile.AWHILE I have one cig left mind you.I explain to him that I left chat to head to bed and I was saving the last cig for after 'special time'so could I have one extra since I was waiting on him to do paperwork.I was like a kid begging for 15 more minutes to watch a show before bed, it was pretty ridiculous.lol! He didn't go for it and I ended up saving just half.I made the goal though and it felt really good!!

Have a great evening everyone!

We finally talked.

Shannon and I are usually pretty good at sticking together when things are crazy.This time we didn't.He was busy working I was busy moving and taking care of everything that goes with that.We were two people with two different list of things to do that never seemed to end.Right about the time things were slowing down and we remembered there is an 'us' there were the two funerals.

We did have twelve hours of driving alone with no kids in the truck on our way to the second funeral.We briefly discussed what we thought went wrong and some issues that hadn't really been talked about.We focused more on how to get back where we need to be rather than how we got where we were.The biggest part of our talk was about our lack of communication and how to better communicate when we do.It was all positive for the most part.Other than one thing that I knew he wasn't happy about,but I had no clue just how unhappy he was with it.It's my need to always have a say in when, where, and how he spanks.Am I guilty? Yes.I never thought much about it because it's not like my complaints or opinions change how he does things...in the end he always does things when, where, and how he wants.He wins!He agreed that they don't change things but he'd rather not feel as though he's dragging me into every spanking kicking and screamin.Not that it really ever happens that way.I get where he's coming from though and I will work at that.

I was chatting with some ladies last week about the smoking thing.They actually scared me a bit with some stories,but in this case fear is good!One of the things that always slows me down is the weight gain that comes with quitting.One of the ladies offered to send a workout video and I'm excited about starting that.I gave myself some goals on my own.I made one and that was it.Shannon waited in the background to see how I did on my own.I wasn't really aware he was watching until he started asking tons of question everyday.He decided I needed his 'help' with this.I don't get a say in how he chooses to help.We both agreed I had too much say last time.
I'm excited to have a plan,that always works better than 'I'm working on it'.I have the video,meds if I need them,and a goal!

Have a great day everyone!

Not on the same wavelength!

I'm pretty sure we are on two entirely different planets at this point....

I really don't like sharing these times and prefer to share the positive stuff.The truth is it isn't always warm and fuzzy.*sigh* There was a disagreement and hurtful things were said.WARNING!! this won't make either of us look all that great but it is what it is.

It started over him being grouchy, then I was grouchy.Truthfully I think we were both stressed.I said that I felt like he shouldn't spank me for being grouchy if he was grouchy.That pretty much set him off and I got the whole lecture about how I don't decide those things and so on.When he finished his lecture I decided to say you haven't spanked in however long and now your ready to be all roar!That led to a debate about whether there were or were not available opportunities.Just between you and I.. there were opportunities.Like I said hurtful things were said.I mentioned to him that I wasn't sure how I felt about DD and that sometimes it seems more hurtful than helpful.We agreed that changes needed to be made,because it shouldn't be that way.He was clear that DD wasn't going anywhere though.So,I basically said fine,but I don't feel the need to discuss it or give an opinion about it anymore.He said that was fine but it wouldn't stop him from spanking.Let me just pause to yell.....UGH!!!

That was the short version trust me no one wants to hear the long version.Looking back I know that things got out of hand really quickly and most of this could have been prevented.I also know that DD has helped with so many things in our marriage.Even disaggreements as suprising as that may seem,but we still have a lot of work to do in this area.A lot of what was said was silly and pointless and other things were how we really feel.

I'm not giving my opinion on DD issues and he is continuing to spank.I think he feels he has a point to make..only I'm clueless about what that could be.He has spanked every chance he's got.That makes me think he's boiling over the fact that I said there were opportunities and he felt there weren't.He's also spanked with determination,about what? I don't know.Could it be that he is making his point that I don't make those decisions?He's changed other things about the spankings too,that I don't fully understand,or agree with or like for that matter.

Obviously there are some unsettled issues.I just wish he'd talk to me about them.If he feels he needs to make a point,I'm ok with that.I just think it makes more sense for me to know and understand the point he's trying to make.Otherwise it just adds hurt in an already hurtful situation.

My apologies...

We finally got all moved! We still have tons of unpacking to do though.I never thought to post and say I'd be without internet,because it was only supose to be a couple days.Let's just say it was forever!!!! I'm still not sure I'm even happy with the internet service we are getting.UGH!I apologize for disappearing.

Shannon's grandfather passed away while I was out of touch.We were out of town for a few very stressful days.

The whole entire move was stressful.Shannon worked through most of it so that left me and the kids to do a lot of it.Getting stuff turned on was difficult too...you would think we lived in the boondocks!

Now that the hard part is over I'm hopeful I can post on a more regular basis.I've missed everyones blogs and hope to do some catching up this week!The smoking still isn't going well,but things are settling down(I hope)so maybe now I can put some effort into that.

Have a great day everyone!

The smoking thing.

I have had a few people ask about how the smoking is going, so I thought I'd post it here.

Well......It's not going.I think I was at about half a pack last time I updated.I'm no where close to that now.I really don't know what to say other than things got crazy and I stopped trying.

I was chatting with a friend today who told me I use stress as an excuse to smoke.It's true I do,it helps with so many things actually. I know I need to find another way to deal with stressful things and I'm going to work on that.I can't say that I'm going to quit right now,but I'm going to work on cutting back.

So that's what's going on with it.*sigh*

Have a great day!

I should have said something.

Communication isn't always easy.Sometimes you need to say something.You know you should ,but.....

What if it creates tension?
What if your timing is off?
What if there just isn't enough time?
Etc.......

Shannon did something that hurt my feelings.I know it wasn't intentional and I knew I needed to tell him.It's just that the time never came where I felt comfortable.Then he did something small that irritated me and 'I pounced like a tiger'(those were his words).

He's been giving these little morning spankings,nothing serious,more playful than anything.So I wasn't shocked when he announced a spanking this morning.I knew I was in trouble though the moment he said 'now that I have you here'.He of course wanted to know why I pounced.I told him and he understood.He wasn't happy that there was something 'wrong' and I didn't talk to him though.He reminded me again how important it is that we communicate with one another.He also reminded me that pouncing is not acceptable.

Communicating would have hurt us both a lot less.I need to work on this one it's were I struggle the most.

Have a great night everyone!

Gotta love a hot bath!

Every night that Shannon is home he takes a bath with me and every night he complains about how hot the water is.Tonight he got in and said "your getting a spanking tonight".I was like why? "Because the waters is so darn hot!" I laughed because I knew he was teasing.He said he was going to make my butt as hot as the water was.lol!I love that he takes a bath with me so maybe I could compromise on the water just a little!

Have a great evening everyone!!

First day of school!

Today is the first day of school!!! I'm excited for the new year and the start of the school football season.I'll be complaining while i'm running like crazy though lol!Our oldest drove to school this morning....that will give you gray hair's for sure!!

Most of all I'm just ready for the routine of things.I need routine!The school year also gives Shannon and I more time together,I love that part!He's been putting in a lot of hours at work so I haven't seen him much.I did get to spend some time with him this morning even if it was OTK *wink*He asked me a few days ago to go to the post office,but I was busy and forgot to go.....

He was really funny this morning though,I think it's due to his lack of sleep.*smiles* As he's spanking he says "Do you know why you should have went to the PO?" And then he answers himself.Because I asked you to, right?"Do you know why else you should have went?" He answers himself again.Because if you don't you end up in this position.Then he says AH HA!... Are you having an ah ha moment yet?... Say it with me ah ha!I was laughing too hard to answer,but I was definantly having an ah ha moment.I'm not sure it was the one he wanted though.

Have a great day everyone!!!

The house

Everything is moving forward with the house.Shannon and the kids are totally excited! I have concerns though.

This isn't just a house and anyone who knows Shannon and I wouldn't be suprised lol!It's an old doctor's office actually.It was built in 1939 and over the years they have made it a house.So my biggest concerns are:The roof,the plumbing,the electric.It's also over 2600 sq ft.it has two a/c units so I worry about the electric bill being crazy!It's perfect in so many ways though.I'm not sure if I'm just worried because it's a big decision or if I'm worried for a reason.ugh!

Shannon and I have talked since I last posted and things are better.We still have some things to work out but at least we are communicating and that's more that we were doing before.

Have a great day everyone!

so much going on!

We got the approval for the house we want!!! Now we are just working on nagotiating a few things.It's very exciting...and stressful!

The kids start school in a couple weeks.That means it's time to think about clothes and supplies.Fun stuff!!! Our oldest is now legal to drive.That pretty much makes me scared out of my mind!The smoking isn't going so well,what can I say???

DD went into hiding.I understood at first then it turned into hurt.He brought it up a couple days ago,but I didn't have much to say.DD can be so one-sided,unfair whatever the word is at times.We have had a couple of disagreements this past month and it made me realize that spanking is always his answer.It doesn't matter whose at fault the end result is the same.The only thing that changes is whether or not I'm being punished or we're just clearing the air.If I have done something wrong I'm fine with a punishment,but being spanked to clear the air when he was clearly wrong isn't sitting well with me.I feel like over time it's made him less accountable for his words and actions.I won't go into all the details,but feel free to give me your opinion on spankings just to clear the air?

Have a great day everyone!!!

It's been crazy around here.

We enjoyed our weekend and just the day before Shannon was due back to work he got gout poor guy! He's doing much better now and went back to work today.They gave him three different medications,one he will be on from here on out.Everyone has suggested cherries so I'm stocking up on those!!!

We have also been thinking about moving.We have lived here five years and we are tired of renting(throwing our money away).There is a place we are interested in we will see how it goes.I'm keeping my fingers crossed!!!!

The smoking isn't going so well.There is just so much going on right now.My dad being a jerk for one...not that that's a new thing lol! Our house has been full of teens lately so there hasn't been privacy for much of anything anyway.

Ya'll know how it is...sometimes life just gets in the way.Eventually things will slow down and return to normal.

Have a great day everyone!!

Smoking update

I'm still working on it,I promise!! Things just got a tad crazy around here and then to make it even worse Shannon started working crazy hours.We felt it was best just to stay at the goal we were working on until things settled down some.Do things ever really settle down???

I started taking ten out as of yesterday.I didn't make that goal,but I will be working on it again today!

The good news is Shannon has scheduled days off again for the first time in almost a year!! The not so good news is I'm sure he will crack down on the smoking soon.I prefer staying at the goal for at least a few days.It gives me a chance to adjust.Taking one more out everyday is a lot harder.

I hope everyone has a safe and happy 4TH!!!!

I plead insanity!

This is something I posted elsewhere over a month or so ago.I promised I'd post it here.We're heading out of town later today for the weekend and I don't feel like posting about smoking so....

My son's room is horrible! I'm pretty sure it's a fire hazard.So Shannon tells me he doesn't want our son going anywhere until his room is clean.I heard him say it and I totally agreed with him.

The next day he comes home from work early and it's just me home so no witnesses.He announces that he's gonna give a spanking,one of those 'good' you forgot how things work around here kinda spankings.There may have been a tiny bit of truth to what he was saying so I tell myself that I've earned the spanking and I'm gonna take it like a champ(Whatever that really means)so I do!

Less than an hour later my son comes to me and asked if he can go to the park to play basketball.I quickly think about his room and then say(this is where I went insane!)Ok but as soon as school is out this week you and I are gonna tackle your room together,were throwing stuff out got it? He says he's got it and leaves.I come out of the kitchen and Shannon ask where J went.I was thinking Oh crap!!! I explain to him my awesome plan of action.He immediatly ask where the other two kids are.Now I'm thinking double Oh Crap!! I'm alone with no witnesses again!!!

I explain where the girls are almost wanting to add that they could be home any moment?(a lie would have been a bad idea though)He says good follow me.He makes the long walk to our room.He ask me again to explain where our son is and why he isn't cleaning his room.I explain,well the best I could being insane and all.He says so what I say doesn't matter?I say of course it does and try to hurry and think how the heck I'm supose to prove that at that very moment.He asked what did I just spank you for earlier as he reaches for his belt.Now I'm just desperate and I tell him that he really doesn't have to use THAT and that I really did hear what he said earlier it's just I messed up.He wasn't really interested in that at the moment.He puts me over his knee and checks out his earlier handiwork.Then he is kind enough to say"Wow your pretty marked up this is really gonna hurt!!"

And he was right!

Misty(not the sharpest tool in the shed)

Have agreat weekend everyone!!!

The weekend

I'm finding it hard to write about the weekend.I'm not sure if it's because it was so personal? Emotional? Or what? Sometimes it's easier to say 'I got spanked' than it is to discuss the emotions that surounded it.This is one of those times.

There were several spankings over the weekend.Each one was about an area that needed attention like submission,attitude,acceptance,pouting,communication,and who's in charge.He made sure to take a moment before each spanking to tell me I wasn't being punished.I appreciated that.The spankings were hard but knowing they weren't pinishments really helped.As part of the lesson I still have two spankings that I have to ASK for before the end of the month.The good part is these can be 'nice' spankings *smile*

We also had some much needed conversations,shared some awesome meals together,went to a rodeo and did some thong shopping.I may post about that at another time. *wink* We enjoyed each other in general.

The only puinishment I got over the weekend was for the missed smoking goal ummmm...OUCH!!!I have made all my goals since that spanking!We started out just taking one cigarette out and now I'm taking eight out!It's getting much harder,but I'm feeling really good about the progress we're making with the smoking.

Have a good day everyone!

We finally had a chance to discuss the reminder that went bad....

I pouted about it for days before we had the chance to communicate for more than five minutes.While I was busy pouting and being less than submissive, he was fuming about the way I handled things.Turns out the reminder was meant to be more on the playful side and I'm actually the one that turned it ugly by fighting it.I can't say we see eye-to-eye on the entire situation.We've pretty much agreed to disagree.The bottom line is he decides when,where and how to spank and while I can always give my opinion.I don't get to fight the spankings he decides to give and then pout about it for days.

All of our children are out of town right now and he has decided that this is the perfect oppertunity to have a 'weekend long lesson on submission'(I'm sure my attitude over the last few days has nothing at all to do with it)I really don't know what all this entails other than I may not be sitting come Monday.He started last night with a spanking before bed.I'm not sure why I thought fighting a spanking and then acting like a total brat about it was a good idea.

As far as the smoking, I have met every goal so far....until today that is! Not a good time to miss a goal! ugh!He doesn't know yet because he's sleeping.Maybe I should quietly sneak out of the house and return when all my little witnesses come back.lol! I hate that I missed the goal,but I do feel pretty good that I was able to make so many before crashing and burning! I will repeat the goal and hopefully meet it this time!

Have a wonderful weekend everyone!!

A tad confused

I must have misunderstood about the reminders.I was under the impression he would give a reminder if I was struggling to meet my goal and if I met the goal there would be the occasional gg.

Turns out I was wrong!Last night we get ready for bed and he ask if I've met my goal.I tell him that I did.I actually blew past the goal.A little bit later he pulls out the cane.All of us have our dreaded implement and just so happens the cane is mine.He announces he's going to give a reminder.WTH???

I won't go into all the annoying details,but I didn't handle it well at all!I mean the first goal I met I get a gg.The second one I get the cane! In all fairness he was only going to give me 10 strokes with the cane(he doesn't realize 10 with the cane is a lot!) and he only used it because we had kids in the house.I'm not sure I understand the point in a reminder if I'm doing well.

All this to say I'm feeling a tad wounded and confused by his decision.

The goal today:take 4 cigarette's out.I can do it!!

Have a great day everyone!!

I met my first goal!!!

My first goal was to take two cigarettes out of the pack I opened and still have it last at least 24 hours.I can't say I blew past the goal,but I did make it!

Last night we had the house to ourselves,that doesn't happen often.Our two youngest are staying a couple weeks with my sister and our oldest stayed the night with a friend.We had a lovely dinner alone, great conversation,a 'good girl' spanking(I'll get to that soon) and some pretty amazing other stuff.

During our conversation and dinner he informed me that he wanted to do reminders to help me with the smoking.He also said that sometimes the reminders would be in the form of a gg.Ok so for those of you who don't know,we have tried gg's a few times with only about a 5 percent success rate.Spankings are spankings and they hurt,so I struggled to find them yummy in any way, shape, form or fashion.lol! However,this is something we would like to get more familiar with.He tells me to go through his arsenal and pick out implements I thought could be 'nice'. I picked two crops,they've always seemed somewhat sexy to me.Turns out I was right,they are sexy!He picked a few too at some point,but I have no idea what they were.All I can say is the gg was 100% successful...WOW! This could be HUGE for us!!!

My next goal is to take 3 cigarettes out of my pack and it still last 24 hours.I'm feeling pretty confident I can make the goal. :)

Have a great day everyone!

The embarrasment never goes away

It amazes me that no matter how long we do this a certain degree of embarrasment is always there.It's just a matter of to what degree and for me that changes.Last night we had a reconnection of sorts.I was beyond embarrassed afterwards.We were at the point when it was over and we were just talking.I was quiet and I think he was feeling that something was wrong and maybe he should continue.I was telling myself to just say something so he'd know that continuing wasn't necessary.It wasn't long before he caught on and asked "Are you embarrassed?" He acted kinda shocked lol! Then he told me not to be and that this is what we do and there is nothing to be embarrassed about.I felt better,but somehow I don't think it will stop me from being embarrassed in the future.Oh well it comes with the territory,I guess.

As far as the smoking...I've been doing better and making some changes on my own.I really like KayLynn's advice and decided to do that.Right now I'm just going to be writing down the times I resist and then I'll gradually change that.I also decided to have a certain spot that I smoke in.That doesn't seem like much but it does help.As of right now Shannon is just asking that I write down everytime I open a pack.The first time was horrible but it has slowly got better.I'm also taking Sugaranne's advice of enjoying the small goals.So baby steps,but I'm feeling good about it.

Have a great day everyone!

My apologies

I'm sorry to anyone who visited and could get on the blog.I had the settings right but didn't reboot.So now it's out there...I know nothing about computers:)Thanks to Katia for helping me fix the problem!

Misty

It's time!!!

Shannon left for work yesterday morning and got home around 11p.m.He had to be back up at 3a.m.You would think the only thing on his mind would be sleep.Instead after he crawled in bed he ask "Do you know what today is?" I was like no what is it? He tells me that it's June 1st and that my time was up and now it's his.He said nothing else about it after that.

A month or so ago he gave me time to work on my smoking on my own with the agreement that June 1st he'd step in.To be honest I haven't made any progress on my own.Of course it would be a crazy stressful month which didn't help matters.He called this morning to tell me to keep track of how many I'm smoking.I'm thinking this isn't going to be good.I'm sure sometime soon he will fill me in and make some small goals(hopefully they are small!)I plan to post the goals and whether or not I meet them.

In other news I decided to share my blog rather than keep it private.It's scary but I thought why not? Mostly I know there has to be a few people out there who have used DD where smoking or something like it is concerned.I would love any advice I could get.Also maybe down the road my journey with DD and smoking could help someone else.

Have a great day everyone!!

summer fun!

Summer has definantly kicked off here.The weather has been nice and warm!! The pool is up and we have been enjoying that.It's alot of work though.We've done some outdoor grilling.We've been fishing.The kids love that! J caught a few huge frogs,they are so cute!!We just play with them and put em' back.Shannon's caught some bass and a catfish.

Shannon's job is starting to pick up which is nice they aren't talking about closing the doors anymore.In fact they are about to hire a few guys so maybe just maybe they will get a day off once in awhile.I'm thinking the next few weeks while they are getting people trained I'll never see Shannon.

My nephew is coming to stay a couple weeks with us.His sister's have summer camps and he's feeling a tad left out because he has nothing 'fun' to do lol!J is excited him and my nephew are buds.The girl's have been keeping us busy with sleepover's.It seems like every other night we have all night guest.

I don't think I ever gave an update on K and cheer.She made the squad and we are so happy for her.They should start kicking things off in July.I can't wait!!! Ok maybe I can lol!

Have a good day everyone!

Ups and downs

Marriage is not without it's ups and downs and we had a down for sure.Not anything I care to talk about.I will say that I'm shocked sometimes by how we deal with downs the longer we are married.I can remember many moons ago when we'd go days without speaking because one of us said something to hurt the others feelings.I think about what a waste of time that was lol!That's not to say things are always peachy but we can at least carry on like two adults during our downs and I like that.I like that even during a down time we are still a team.I don't know I guess these kind of things are reassuring to me.

Shannon decided a reconnection was in order.I was really needing that when he first announced it but givin the circumstances we decided to wait a few days.By the time we got around to it I wasn't feeling all that disconnected but I could tell he still very much needed the spanking to happen so I didn't fuss....well not until it started anyway lol! Shannon had cut his finger while we were doing our flower bed and it opened up again while he was spanking and wouldn't stop bleeding.He decided to use the american tawse rather than bleed all over me;)

I swear the longer we own that thing the worse it gets!!! After just a few swats I was like ok wait! Stop!That thing is broke! He was like what do you mean broke? Like it hurts way worse than normal its all flappy.He laughs and says flappy? You mean it's broke in? Yea whatever it's broke! He pretty much ignored me and my pleas after that lol! Then later he's talking to me and ask his question "why do we do this,Misty?" Ummm because when your not actually DOING it it somehow seems like a good idea.He laughed at me and said no I can't accept that I need another answer.I finally gave him the answer he would accept but just between us.......the first answer WAS true lol!

We had a great weekend together.Shannon actually got some much needed time off.The kids kept us crazy busy with all their plans but all in all it was fun.I got some pretty flowers for Mother's day and a few homemade posters and such that I loved!!!

This is the last full week of school left and no doubt it will be a busy one it always is!J is doing some extra tutoring to be sure his grades are all good.I'm proud of him for even thinking of it,he's definantly matured this year.K ended up choosing cheer rather than softball.I'm not suprised lol! She will be working her butt off to try an make the team.I so hope she does because she will be so disappointed if not and I don't want that.T seems to have all her ducks in a row and ready to finish out the school year.

Hope everyone had a wonderful Mother's day!!!

My guy is home!!!!

I'm so totally happy!! Shannon came home yesterday and he took me out on a nice date.He was supose be gone 4 days but that turned into a full week!I was unprepared lol!We had a great time together just catching up and some chit chat.He had already mentioned giving me a spanking just for connection and some maintenance.With his new work schedule he's been doing alot of morning spankings which I don't really care for...there isn't enough coffee to prepare for that lol!Anyway last night on our way home from our date he says I'm gonna spank you tonight because I need to be at work early and I don't wanna rush things in the morning.I was shocked but I saw his point and besides did I mention I don't like morning spankings;)So he goes to 'our' spot,well one of them the other is the lake.He gets the spanking going telling me he was glad that I was good while he was gone and how happy he was that the spanking wasn't a punishment.Then he starts teasing me about how virgin my bottom got in just one week lol! He was totally in to this spanking and I had to remind him a few times that I was attached to the bottom he was spanking!It was nice though and it served it's purpose.He did throw me a twist near the end.I said in my earlier post that we were no longer 'working' on my smoking and that took alot of convincing to get him to agree to.I have kinda felt like he wasn't totally on board with it but he's kept his comments to a minimal.Until yesterday while he was spanking at which point he says now that I have your attention I want to talk to you about something.I won't harp on it cause I said I wouldn't but you haven't done so good with your cigarettes and June 1st is right around the corner so I need you to work harder on that.He gave some really ouchie swats to make his point and then winded things down.I know he's right I do need to work harder on it.I've sorta went crazy since we agreed it was off the table and I'm only hurting myself by doing that.Anyway heading out to catch a lunch date my my guy yippee!!!!

Ok we will just say I suck at blogging and move on :)

I won't make excuses or say I will do better...cause well that's probably not true lol!

We have had alot of company the past few months.My sister came up for a week and that was fun.We discuss that it will probably be the last year we do spring break together because the kids are getting older and it's just hard.They all have their things they are into and the two older kids will have jobs soon.We will still visit each other when we can though.

My good friend,Katia(a fellow DD'er) came to visit us...it was a blast and thanks to the Oklahoma weather we actually got a couple extra days together.Of course we were angels the entire time!!!! Ok maybe not the entire time;) We tried real hard so that's gotta count for something right?

My cousin and friend came down about a week ago.We weren't really expecting them to come till last minute so we didn't have much planned but it was still fun.

We are trying to plan a trip to Branson soon.I'm not sure how easy that will be considering they tok Shannon's days off away and his hours have really been slim.I'm enjoying him being home on a more regular basis though.

The kids school years in coming to a close soon...where did the year go? J is finishing up track,which he totally loves! I never really pictured him as a track kid,but I'm so glad he is enjoying it.K is trying to decide between softball and cheerleading.I would like to see her do softball I think she would be great at it but I think her hearts in cheer.I'll support her either way.I'm trying to get T to play softball as well it's not looking so good but I'll keep my fingers crossed :)

I was hoping next time I posted I would have quit smoking but no such luck.UGH! We are not making it a DD issue at the moment thank goodness!! We will start again June 1st.I needed a break. It just became this nasty issue between Shannon and I.It was like everything was going so wonderful but then there was the smoking issue.I needed the big nasty cloud NOT hanging over my head for a bit.He wasn't to comfy with the idea and it took lots of talking,but eventually he got where I was coming from.He's really hateing it though I can tell.People that smoke get it a tad better than those who don't.I use my smokes for everything if I'm tired,hungry,upset,sick....whatever so it's tough to let them go.I know that I should though and yes I know all the nasty stuff associated with it;) My job now is to get to that place of really wanting to quit by June 1st.That's all I'll say about that for now.

I'm getting ready to start my garden which I'm totally excited about and if the weather would work with me a bit I'd have already started lol!I have also finally got all the rescue dogs a good home and now we are down to just 'ours' I can't tell you how nice that is.It's time to get busy with some spring cleaning! This would be a good week for it because Shannon's out of town for a few days,but the kids have tons going on and the weather sucks.